each day has a discovery.

I work up this morning feeling like I never slept with vivid, wierd dreams that just don't quiet make sense. I have been fighting a sadness for the last few weeks, that keeps getting interupted by signs of faith and hope. A documentray on Buddha, a farmers market full of farm fresh food. Today I gravitated immediatly towards the purples. Beets, and red onion, purple peppers, plums, blueberries. I know enough to know that when my body craves these foods, that my higher self is telling me something. I haven't been journaling enough yet the other day I did, the next day questions I asked in the journal were answered in real life. Today my foggy dreams, my food choice shows me that I am on a path. My higher self is trying to tell me something. The question is am I awake enough to understand the message?

many many changes.

Since my chakra diet experiment, I have weekly done simple rites to acknowledge and focus on my chakras. Little things Like I bought underwear red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet. And as I wear each color I remind myself each day to breath into that center. I wear nail-polish. red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet. What a simple and fun way to remind self to breath and release that center. Of course, what I eat reminds me now of that center. I now notice on certain days I gravitate towards yellows, or reds. I know then that I need to breath and give attention to that center. I have since discovered that I am pregnant. I am now 16 weeks pregnant and finding that spiritually life changes when miracles are happening every moment within your body. It is less about looking outward for knowing and more about looking inward and seeing the miracle of each moment. I see my body changing. I am amazed by each feeling, impulse, and change. Hearing the heart beat and seeing the baby has literally blow my mind each and every time. It is a miracle, each day, each moment is a miracle. I have worked with my healer on distant healing in the first trimester, and will work with her again soon. I am going to take a reiki class. I am feeling the flow of life in all way, all around me. I have been drawn to a number of books. and cds. I heard Buddha say he is   a lotus flower in bloom. Someone who started in the mud, and reached his way through the murky water, stretching, stretching, and now above the water blooming just above the water, earth, water, air..... the passion that makes the journey is your desire. your fire to keep going. I  understand that metaphor. I am reaching for the Sun.  I am growing, each day each moment looking toward the Sun, something beatiful within me ready to bloom.